Ok it’s time. Time to finish this thing. Awhile back I finished the rough draft of my first book, which chronicled my efforts to tackle all of the 4000 footers in New Hampshire before I turned 40. It’s taken forever for me to get back to it and do the final edit. Life interrupting me with chronic nerve pain has made it so that every time I sit down to give it one last look, I can’t get into the right frame of mind to do it the service it deserves. I’ll start rewriting something, hoping to capture the right tone of humor and depth I’d like to achieve, and then get zapped and start to spasm, making it impossible to transfer a good mood to paper.
But I’m getting stronger now, and even though the pain isn’t behind me, there are now gaps in the pain that I can take advantage of to look at the book again with fresh eyes. For the days when the pain is too much and I can’t focus on it long enough to make any good headway, blogging has turned out to be a terrific outlet to get some quick thoughts down and keep practicing my writing.
I’m not making major changes to the book. Not changing any grammar or any of the main points. And I don’t want to change my perspective on things, even though my experiences of late might change my mind about some stuff. But I notice things here and there, where my writing could have been a little tighter, and I’ll make the appropriate adjustments. It’s nice getting to go back and take another whack at it after getting so much more practice.
The real problem is that I’d like to be able to get back out there and be climbing again to put me in the right frame of mind to finish the book. I’m considering writing a book now about the four-year health debacle I’ve been on with mast cell disease, which I could probably bang out in a few months. I keep being tempted to just write that story while I finish waiting for my nerves to regenerate. Maybe I should. It’s certainly easier to write about what’s going on in the moment.
Can I start a second book while kicking the tires on the first one? I don’t like the idea of postponing the first one any longer, but maybe I should just go where the words take me. It feels like a torrent is about to come out of me and I’m afraid of letting something slow that down. I don’t know if the first book will be my best work, but I’d like to get it done so that I can move onto other projects without it hanging over my head. I also don’t want to cheat that work by forcing words upon it just to get it done. I care so much about it. It captures the essence of what I felt about being a father and what kind of dad I want to be for my kids. Maybe what I’ll do is dedicate a little time each week to 4000s by 40, a little time for the second book, and a little time for blogging. Wherever I’m feeling the flow, I’ll just let it fly. If I run into a writer’s block for one thing and feel my mind shifting focus, I’ll go where my mind takes me and let it rip there. Okay, I like this plan. Thanks for letting me talk this one out. We’re gonna let it rip.