Healing or Complaining, Write or Wrong?

When I started this blog I was hoping it was going to be about mountains and writing, and perhaps be a platform for some more creative writing pursuits that I’ve got planned, but instead the bulk of my entries so far have been about this damn nerve pain. It wasn’t supposed to be this way! I wanted to write about happy things and about going out and living your best life, not pain and finding the positives in crummy situations. Alack! Hopefully I can wander myself away from this subject soon.

It’s hard to write about other things when the pain is all-consuming. It’s not that I’m not drawn to other subjects, just unable to escape this one. There are times when I hit submit on a new post and I feel like it’s a mistake, not because I don’t agree with what I wrote, but because I never wanted to sound like a “woe is me” kind of person. There are moments where having this public dialogue with myself makes me feel like I’m complaining to the heavens, but then I ask myself if someone else can maybe benefit from what I’ve learned and it enables me to press the “publish” button.

Whenever I write something there is one simple question I like to ask before I consider a piece done: does this help anyone? Writing about what I’m going through certainly helps me relieve the stress of having to live with my condition on a daily basis, but my end-purpose is to make sure my writings could be helpful for someone else. If there is one guiding principle that someone should have for writing, it should be to help people.

One’s writings can be delivered via a number of forms and genres, but in the end, if what you write helped someone learn something, escape reality for awhile, or just let them feel like there is someone else out there who understands what they are going through, then there is a benefit to you putting down the words. If some day your words are worth money to people, great, but the motivator for writing them cannot be fame and book sales. You might be able to make some bucks with that attitude and I know many have, but words created without the motivation of trying to help others, are in my mind, empty vessels that take neither the recipient or their creator anywhere of value. What’s the point?

As I’ve gotten more into the habit of blogging, recommitting myself to the practice of writing and understanding how all of this works, I’ve refined my thinking on what complaining is. In a nutshell, complaining can take two major forms as I see it: 1.) finger-pointing and just telling everybody what you think is wrong with everything and everyone else in the world, or 2.) being overly dramatic as if “the sky is falling”, which is basically like saying “woe is me, I’m the only person in the world who is going through this and nobody could ever possibly understand. Poor me, poor me, poor me.” Blech. Even writing those words made me want to puke. But discussing your problems and letting people know what you’re going through is not the same thing as complaining. Communicating reality and sharing what is going on with you acts as great therapy for yourself, and can help the people who care about you know how to support you.

Over the last few years, it seems like the world has fallen apart for a lot of people I know. So many people are dealing with (or have loved ones dealing with) health troubles or mental health issues, and a lot of them don’t talk about their problems. But for the ones I know that have opened up and been willing to talk about it, and even laugh about it, it’s been tremendously helpful and healing. If you’ve got something going on and you need someone to talk to, don’t worry about sounding like you’re complaining. You’re just asking them to fully see you and letting them know why you are the way you are right now. This exercise can lift a burden off your shoulders and you may be surprised by how people respond to you. Some for the worse, and some for the better, but either scenario is also okay, because it tells you who is good for you to be around. If you’ve got worries, let them out, and try to laugh about them if you can. You’re not complaining, you’re just showing that you’re human. It’s allowed.