Last week, I did what only the bravest of souls dare—I took my daughters into the heart of New York City to see Hamilton. I’ve climbed mountains, braved storms, and found myself in more than a few dangerous situations, but nothing quite tests my ability to survive like a trip to Times Square. I find it absolutely terrifying. And even though it’s probably the last place on earth this hiker from New Hampshire wants to be, for moments like these, I am not throwing away my shot.
Driving Into Times Square
My eldest actually had the wheel coming into the city, which lowered my cortisol tremendously. Her driving doesn’t scare me, and I don’t have any of the stereotypical stress associated with a father riding shotgun in that scenario. But I was still on the alert, eyes wide open. People were EVERYWHERE.
Before we even got off at our exit, two different drivers cut us off so abruptly that, had my daughter not hit the brakes, we certainly would have had a collision. It felt like people were daring us to hit them. We’re not in New Hampshire anymore, Toto.
While looking for a parking spot, we almost killed thirty-seven people, most of them on motorcycles or scooters, zipping around with zero regard for their own welfare. One guy was riding sidesaddle on an e-bike because… well, I guess because he was in NYC? I have no idea. It was madness. He kept accelerating and slowing down alongside our car, like he wanted us to hit him so he could sue for the insurance money. Why is everyone looking for conflict?
Maximum Overload
The Hamilton show was at Richard Rodgers Theatre and to get to the parking garage we had to go right through Times Square: a sensory overload that triggered excitement followed by nausea. All I could think, as we dodged pedestrians and over-aggressive drivers, was that this must be exactly what Tokyo looks like.
Huge digital renderings of Lego cartoons, Miley Cyrus, and Millie Bobby Brown wrapped themselves around the first ten stories of the buildings in front of us. It was jarring. I’m probably having too many religious epiphanies lately, but man, it was a lot of over-the-top idolization of celebrities. It can’t be healthy for us. It was so much Miley. So, so much Miley.
But the chaos of the traffic and lights made everything else we saw in Times Square seem almost normal. Two Spidermen hanging out on a street corner? Normal. Another Spiderman hanging out with Deadpool? Also normal. If there’s anywhere these characters should be, it’s Times Square. We also saw the infamous “Naked Cowboy” and his lesser-known counterpart, “Naked Cowgirl,” as well as two oversized gorillas, a nine-foot-tall Statue of Liberty walking around, and Bumblebee the Transformer, true to size. It was crazy. And they do this every day. Wild just to think about.
Hamilton
The Hamilton show was, of course, amazing. I’ve been listening to my kids play the soundtrack for years, and I’d seen a video of the original on TV, but seeing it in person is truly special. The set itself is a masterpiece. With a rotating stage and moving staircases that the actors continuously go up and down without any concern for stability, it’s a remarkable display of form and function. Everything moves in concert with the dancers, and it’s so fluid your eyes can hardly keep up with all that’s happening. It was absolutely worth the time in the car, the chaos of the city that never sleeps, and the price of admission. It was worth the shot.
Maybe I’ll go back. In thirty years.
Hamilton at the Richard Rodgers Theatre. Even better in person.
It’s a fantastic show, but next time take the bus or train! I never drive into the City.
Noted! We had to head to Connecticut afterwards, but if next time we have more time, maybe that’s the route we’ll go. I’m way too much of a country boy now to manage NYC well. Even Boston is getting to be too much for me!