Life can really throw some curveballs at you, can’t it? One minute you’re standing on a mountaintop and then the next, you’re cast down a deep, dark hole somewhere, wondering if you’ll ever see the light of day again. The speed with which this can happen is what makes a return to your former self…
The Last Rotisserie Chicken on Earth
When I’m not eating ice cream, the one other food that has served me well during this prolonged battle with nerve pain, has been the rotisserie chicken. God bless the rotisserie chicken. And it can’t just be any rotisserie chicken either — it has to be an unseasoned, totally plain one from Hannaford’s, and eaten…
Clawing Your Way Out of the Hole
You’re alone. You’ve been thrown down a deep dark hole somewhere and no one can find you. Nobody’s coming to help either. It’s not that they don’t want to or don’t care, it’s just that nobody knows how to solve the riddle of your predicament. It’s not like they didn’t try either. They gave it…
I Want a Vacation From Vacation
I can’t look at a calendar anymore. It doesn’t do me any good because all it shows is how little time I have to myself. So I leave the calendar management to my wife. She’s a calendar wizard whereas I’m a “tell me what’s happening tomorrow when tomorrow happens” kind of guy. I think it…
Raising a Nation of Conspiracy Theorists
My two oldest came home the other day and declared that they refuse to get the vaccine. They said it’s untested and can change your body and it’s too soon to get something like this. Apparently one of their school friends showed them some “real news” from a conspiracy theorist on YouTube, and my kids…
Give it Your 1%
When you really hurt you don’t care much about the fun you’re missing out on. You don’t care about going out for a drink, or making plans, or really anything, because all of your attention is focused on getting through the next moment and trying to curb the pain. All-consuming pain makes everything else feel…
The Point Is Not Longevity
Went to a covid vaccination site yesterday and have to say, I wasn’t really looking forward to it. I’m not an anti-vaxxer or anything, but living with a unique form of mast cell disease really gives you pause when introducing anything new into your body; you never know how your body’s going to react. But…
Can Someone Please Explain Bitcoin to Me Like I’m Five?
A few years ago I thought I was fairly intelligent. Or at least smart enough to get 7 out of 61 questions right on Jeopardy! But now I’m not so sure. Have you ever looked into Bitcoin? Trying to understand Bitcoin feels like trying to help the kids with their math homework when Common Core…
Help! I’m Living With Criminals
Help! If you’re reading this, please send help. I’m trapped. I’ve locked myself in the master bathroom, but that’s not the problem. The problem is lurking just outside the bathroom door, waiting for me to come out so that they can terrorize me some more. Armed with a relentlessness that would have made Al Capone…
I Shall Remake My Body
Edmund Morris wrote a book called The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt, which if you haven’t checked out, I highly recommend. It makes for a great audio book too. Anyway, expounding on Teddy’s early life, the book reveals that Teddy was a sickly child who battled debilitating asthma, and his family feared for his life. But…