Of all the people, in all the world,
how did you come to pick me?
Why do I deserve
these special maladies?
Where did I go wrong?
How can I take it back?
Is there something I could do to make up
for what I lack?
Because it’s too much—
these illnesses, these defeats.
Why, God, oh why
did you give them all to me?
Is there something you know about
that I clearly don’t?
Or something I should try
that all others won’t?
I can’t see where this goes
or how to pass this test.
My brain is on fire
and my soul wants to rest.
But it doesn’t want to leave.
It’s not ready for that.
It just knows we can’t stay
in the place where I’m at.
So, I guess I’ll get up,
keep putting in the work,
and hope tomorrow comes
with a little less hurt.
Without any answers.
Without a clear path.
Absorbing the blows,
enduring the wrath.
Is that what this is?
A test of my will?
To see if I’m able
to swallow this pill?
So I can be the guy,
the one who made it through,
able to go on,
and prove what you can do?
I don’t know — if I’m being honest,
it’s starting to feel
like a game you designed
to show that you’re real.
No? Maybe? Okay, fine,
I’ll still give You a shot,
and we’ll just have to find out
if you’re real or not.
— ❧ —
Poetry Corner
Today’s poem comes from a place I found myself in several years back. We have these moments—these tests in our lives that make us wonder if we’re ever going to find a way through. Without getting too personal, I was at a point with my health where doctors had given up trying to figure out what was wrong. Sent home from the ER, I spent a very long night on the floor with unbelievable pain, having a reluctant conversation. It was a good start.
For more poems, you can find a collection of them at In Verse.